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73 Game Reviews

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Oh look, a bland Miami Shark clone. I usually don't like leaving reviews with sarcasm, and this is no exception. I'm not being sarcastic, that's literally all this is. Nothing is truly improved upon or changed and the mayhem seen in its inspiration is totally absent. Good for a quick medal run, and that's it. Please try to innovate more next time if you plan on using a pre-existing concept.

DarkTimmy responds:

Well, I can appreciate your stand and thank you for your comment. I realize not everything is to everyone's tastes and in this case I can see what you are saying. Funny thing, the Wiesi (Shark guy) is well aware of this game and did like it (I showed it to him before releasing it). I know it's not on his level but it was a fun spin and I had fun making it. I know you probably don't prefer to talk sarcastically and I'm the first to admit we can't always hit them out of the park on the first try. I'm learning and thanks for the feedback! Best, -Tim

I hate this game's gameplay, but I have to respect the message and the fact that if I were to enjoy the game, that would be lost. It leaves me, the player/reviewer, in a weird spot. I'm reminded of No More Heroes here, where the lengthy, boring side jobs were terrible to trudge through, but they were used to brilliant narrative and metaphorical effect and they only worked if they were "bad". Because of this, I want to give it more stars, but I can only give it a good three, because while really cool, it just isn't fun. Please don't take that as a sign that I thought it was average, however. I loved it, I just hated playing it.

Kcori responds:

I completely agree with your review and rating. The concept of giving players negative feelings in games is something that many would say is universally bad, but I wasn't sure and wanted to try it out. I think it did mostly work the way I wanted it to. Probably not something I'll try again to this degree, but I'm glad I did it.

Thanks for the thoughtful review.

You click a hastily "drawn" couch for a medal. That isn't funny or interesting, or even original.

TheMajormel responds:

dont be that bitch nigguh

This was fun, but the level design was really simple and even on hard it never really picked up. Adding to this is the fact that the narrator is more annoying than any difficulty in the game, and not in a good Glados way but in a poorly written way. At first, he/she/it? (we never find out) tells you to give up, but nothing ever comes of this. Then it makes some lame jokes, and then it tries really hard to tell you that the game is hard, which might make sense if it was actually that hard.

Even the medals reflect this. Clever!- not really, that puzzle was incredibly basic and it's been done a million times. Wow, you died a LOT!- except no, I only died a few times on that straightforward platforming section, and most of it was due to sound but weird hit detection. Basically, the game does a lot of tell instead of showing, and it comes off as being "try hard".

That was super cute, and fun for even somebody older. The humor and charm were constant throughout, and the app system was pretty cool.

Being different is good. Thing is though, it isn't inherently good. Not having checkpoints and killing you without warning and having lives doesn't make your game challenging or interesting, it makes it annoying. Being different for the sake of being different isn't a good thing, especially when "being different" happens to be synonymous for "intentionally uses bad game design".

The gameplay here is stiff and slow with awful hit detection and poor responsiveness. Most of the difficulty comes from a combination of that type of thing, so being "hard" isn't even a plus here. The game also has bad graphics for seemingly no stylistic reason. Maybe I'm missing something here, but I don't get this.

3fast4me.

Seriously though, there's no speed between stop and hyper and you can't do anything to prevent the AI from swooping in on you. The gam play here is bare minimum.

glorygamestudio responds:

Thank you, yes
you can only stop the fishes of your team (this is useful when they scored high speed).
But you can push apart and overtake opponents and pick up the ball.

The concept behind this game is genius and the whole thing is extremely atmospheric, but the slow pacing combined with forced restarts completely kills immersion, and it's immensely frustrating while it's at it.

That was excellently made, and to cut to the chase here, horrifying. There were some issues I found as far as clicking on things went, as it is sometimes unclear where paths are due to some bad lighting, but to be completely honest, it hardly matters. The fact is that this game is downright creepy. The atmosphere is amazing with complementary graphics and sounds, and the jump scares were well timed and properly spaced. One event in particular happened to be the scariest thing I've seen in a game in a long time. Plus, the story is well done and the side quests were neat.

Tl;dr: This game is super scary and well put together, even with a tiny hiccup here and there. Play it.

I like Mayonnaise a lot. And submitting art to Newgrounds. But mostly mayonnaise.

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